It’s that time again, folks!

It’s time again for one of my mid-night Bono-like talks about ‘Silver and Gold’ which startles me with the realization, in the middle course of it, ala Bono, that I’m ‘buggin you’. But, unlike Bono, I won’t say “didn’t mean to bug ya.”

Because, especially in this case, I mean every word I say.

Supposedly, anyway, in these so “understood” desperate times, there is a fashion for straight talk: tweet talk, direct communication, the end-around reach-around to liberality, the pussy-grabbing “truth” unfiltered.

The problem, at least for me, is that straight talk requires a draining of all humor. Straight talk of this sort requires a vigorous twisting of the towel to drain all wetness, all sly and clever humor, all subtle sarcasm and/or irony.

I could say that this is hard to do, but it’s not. It just causes perception issues. (I’ll address some of those in the by and by).

What I’m doing here is presenting the frankest, straightest talk I’ve possibly ever done.

What I’m doing here is ridding my philosophical musing and love-instruction of all elements of parable.

But I must what I must.

The danger when I talk this way is simple and direct: ending the polite conformist tap-dance of humor exposes me to vicious perception which, as an unwise political mind insists, is “reality.”

Yes: “perception is reality” insists the new “Call-me Francis” Scott Key.

It, like organized religion, is simply wrong.

And while I can drain my talk of all humor and I can indeed eliminate all the elements of parable to spread my instructive love, I find I can’t do anything at all about my cleverness. It’s something I must live with and it’s something that you, any follower of mine, to any degree whatsoever, must also endure and/or abide.

And with this cleverness which is the working of my mind, I’ve already lost a few anti-intellectual sheep in this wandering preamble. Which is fine. If I intend to save the world which is indeed absolutely what I earnestly intend, it might appear that I’m going about it the wrong way, losing my crowd. But, the losers are not my crowd. Got that Mary Anne? It is your constant, relentless giving of unwanted critical advice which got you “unfriended” and which will keep you that way.  I can’t abide deliberate and blatant negativity.

I’m still winding up and haven’t even started on the thing that bolted me awake in the mid-night hour.

But in this rambling preamble I’ll go somewhere else. I’ll go directly to the fallacy of the perception. I’ll start to end the preamble there:

The fallacy of perception that happens when I take the humor out and the elements of parable out to speak frankly is simply this: I get accused of being angry. I get accused of being hateful. I’ll use irony with full disclosure in this case this one time (not in band camp) . . .

I’m not angry. The anger is in the accusation. You’re angry.

Sorry but it’s true. You are. And I’m not. Actually, full-disclosure, drained of humor and the elements of parable: No. I’m not sorry. Nor am I angry.

Nor am I cynical.

Irony sufficiently exposed, I hope, I can finally finish the intro.

I’m finished pre-ambling now and I’ll go into where I intended to go.

[Start of frank talk]:

Buried in the fb comment bowels of another post of and on another day I replied very philosophically to someone’s kind observation with a pretty comprehensive accounting of my personal spiritual autobiography. I was inspired with this reply and I was pleased with the blunt truths it exposed and expressed.

I truly do believe that with my love I can save the world.

I truly do believe that I’ve lived long enough in a crucible to have found the source of true love.

But there is much in my beating around philosophically in this way that goes unsaid. There is so much that comes across as my assumption of superiority. There is a lot that I wanted to add to my commentary. I was thinking about adding more discussion there, in addendum to the commentary of the original post.

Tonight, though, having gone to bed very, very early, I find myself to have gotten hours of sleep. I find myself wide awake. I found myself adding to that answer in my head. I decided to post this generally, with no apparent humor, with no elements of parable.

I was thinking of attempting to attack the misperception that I consider myself righteous and over-privileged, enjoying the fruits of love through life experiences that I expound as the “right path.” This implies I have found a path which is a path that is denied to so many others.

I found myself thinking “how can this be?”

I know that it cannot be because I know that I’m saving the world with love.

How is it that I sound “holier than thou” with this? How is it that I come across as angry (both within my humor and when I talk frankly without it)?

It’s simply because of the big lie.

I’ll explain without resorting to my usual overly polite tap-dance of opacity (and, when that fails, sometimes, name-calling and crudity).

The big lie is this: that we only get one shot at life.

I’m serious. This is the biggest lie that organized institutionalized religion throws at us.

Let that sink in if it can.

I am playing the role of Origen here, of course, I understand. And I may well share his fate. Which I can accept.

You don’t have to believe me because I do realize how drastic a statement is that. But it’s true. Origen and his like have received the cruel fate of the heretic for many, many years. Yet they haven’t been stamped out. Gnosticism lives. Because it is true. Religion is false. Religion is cruel. Your religion is CRAPPY.

Now, having said that one simple thing, I do realize where the accusations of anger on my part come in, seemingly justified.

I just said that everyone’s [everyone that counts, that is] religion is CRAPPY. I have attacked Christianity. You will get defensive.

Your “Christianity” is your American flag. I seem to burn it. I seem to refuse to stand upright for your national anthem. I seem to discard everything you hold sacred. I seem to be anti-white and anti-police because I am being radically “black lives matter” in this and in so many other matters.

I can easily get this. There is much invested in the end-times fear of a War on Christianity. There is much invested in the concept of things getting worse and worse and worse and of people taking liberality to extreme, of people not having respect any more, of people shitting on Christianity and shitting on America, letting their pants droop and burning flags.

If and when I bring any of this up, I come across as angry.

I do get this.

But I’ll say again plainly: I am not angry. I am not cynical. Your Christianity is CRAPPY. I insist that a sense of humor, no matter how [sic], is truly an antidote to cynicism. [This also came up in a discussion elsewhere]. But it’s true. Yet I’m being frank here with no use of humor. I must guard against perception every now and again with another blunt reminder. It’s part and parcel of my frank talk. Am I buggin’ you?

Not sorry. Also not angry.

I am still saving the world with my love.

I can explain.

So, to get back to the theme: in waxing philosophically about the crucible and about how I came to find love and to find the true source of it, I do seem to be setting myself up as a holier-than-thou elitist who is bragging on the obtaining of something that others have either missed, or blown, or not gone through, or haven’t earned, or have lost forever.

But this angle comes directly from the big lie.

The big lie is that there is only one shot. There is only one life. At the end, there is the wheat and there is the chaff. There is the eternal judgment. The chaff is burnt. Burning hurts. We fear eternal burning.

In this context, my going on about my blessed fortune looks like elitist bragging.

But, this is an incorrect context, brought on by the big lie.

All that is hateful and CRAPPY and selfish group-think name-dropping about organized “Christianity” is involved in this lie. And by talking about spirituality as if I buy into the lie I seem to be talking nonsense.

But I’m talking in a wholly different context outside of the lie that brings us the CRAPPY religion and all its judgments and restraints.

Okay. I’m getting there now. I’m bugging you. I don’t have a humor about me and I look angry again.

I’m not angry. I’m really not.

I’ll patiently keep going. [I can say for sooth that my original thoughts were much more concise]. But I’ll keep going until I cover all the ground because I’m not at all sorry.

When I attack the most fundamental lie and call it out I am attacking in a much more personal way than I intend to.

But, when I go on without being this straight-forward about the actual context I am using, I have become just another version of a hypocrite.

That, my friends, is my own personal horny dilemma.  I can work through it.  Like butter.

And yes, I’m calling CRAPPY selfish religion a hypocrisy. That whole train of thought is a trap. We must be allowed to be spiritual without suffering the constraints of the huge big lie of one life.

Back to the theme: I was talking about living long enough to have gone through enough experiences of what look like disastrous choices in “making” love until the crucible of finding the real thing and fighting through all conventional ways and means of subverting it, either desiring something else, either not recognizing it, either not trusting it, either chasing a dream and missing it, either all the things that happen.

That kind of talk looks like rubbing one’s success in other’s eyes. Because, I realize, most people don’t achieve this. Most people don’t get this reality. But I’m promoting love. I’m promoting true love that can save the world.

Surely I get the concept that nearly everyone is suffering through the consequences of bad choices and has run out of time to go through the ‘crucible’ of which I speak. Surely I must see that I’m bragging about how good or lucky I am. Surely I must be an asshole.

Only if you fall for the big lie.

The big lie brings fear. Fear brings obsession with death. Fear promotes the dark side.

[Now I am referring to things like Star Wars and Harry Potter] [This is where I usually fall into the trap of opaque elements of parable] [I’m fighting against this].

So, the big lie again.

Everything I said about “if you live long enough” you will “find real love” and you will “find the true source” which has something to do with “the creation of the universe” is predicated on a framework outside the parameters of the “big lie.”

The cleverness has crept in again. I am using big words again. I will try to tone it down again.

But I’m not calling those who haven’t gotten here in this lifetime hopeless. I’m not saying anyone has “run out of time.” I know that if you get it wrong now, it is a learning experience. You will get another shot. You will get unlimited shots. Time is infinite. The acknowledgement that I seem to make, that I’ve somehow “gotten there” and you haven’t is not a bragging. It is a lighting of the path. It is an illumination.

But for the big lie that brings about your selfish buy-in to the group-think name-dropping CRAPPY religion.

But for that.

I think I’ve gotten the point across.

And I can say this: you don’t have to believe a word of it. How would I know about life beyond this one life? How would I know about reincarnation?

Well, of course I don’t. But I won’t stop playing the role of Origen. You can kill me as a heretic if you must. It won’t have any true impact on me. I will always be, as you will always be. You’ll work through that karma too.

So, you have the free will to believe that big lie.

You have the free will to follow all the tenets of a CRAPPY selfish religion.

I’m not into stopping you there.

But I’m not angry. I’m not cynical.

When I have resort to my full use of humor it is so much easier. “When [you were convinced] I was cruel.” [Full disclosure and full wringing of the wet towel: that thing in quotation marks is a reference to the Elvis Costello album and song ‘When I Was Cruel’].

So that’s the crux of my spirituality. That is the rub of my Origenism. That is my disclosure and confession that I am indeed a gnostic. This is my discounting of your “Christianity” and of your “America.” That is my flag burning. Without humor. Without cynicism. Without anger.

I was just referring to free will a bit up there. I want to go into that.

Free will is the fall-to explanation, I find, when “Christians” [especially of the Catholic and Apostolic version] are pressed to address the existence of apparent evil. This is like one of the science “standards,” a plug-in figure, a “constant” that is necessary to complete the working of an equation. It is bandied about like it explains everything: “That’s because of ‘free-will’” the man-splaining goes. And the whole system of the big lie of the CRAPPY religion hinges on this all-explaining constant. This is only because of the big lie, I maintain.

Without the big lie, our love can save the world. That’s where I’m at. Without anger, to be sure.

But, without the big lie, the explanatory constant is not needed. You are not losers. You will not receive a forever fate because of running out of time.

After you live long enough you will find truth. After you live long enough you will experience real love. After you live long enough you will recognize the source of it. It will not be what you might have been looking for. You, like me, might not recognize it. It will be very different. If you don’t give up and don’t give in you will realize it. You will realize the Creator. It will come. Meanwhile you will continue to pay the karma for the things you cling on to. Your certainties will prolong the experience. But, not to worry. More chances always come. It is not too late. It is never too late.

If you don’t like this you can shoot me. Literally. Lock and load. And unload. [It doesn’t matter]

Now there is fire. There is hell. There is a crucible.

What is the difference?

“Free will my child”

(That was sarcastic. That was anger-free humor).

But, really.

We are constantly in this working out of things. We are constantly in this learning. We are constantly in this seeking true love. Some of us are fighting it, for sure. Some of us are fighting ourselves. Some of us are fighting violently for our CRAPPY institutionalized beliefs.

Yet, the learning is going on. However tiny the increments. Even the most resistant group-think name-droppers are changing over an eternity of time. No one can hold out.

Hell is a fire of fear. Hell is a way of looking at the things that happen to us all as we suffer to learn. Eternity of hell we might — (those of us who buy-in and see the end-times playing out) — well fear with all our motives. But eternity of hell is a concept. It is the wages of CRAPPY belief. It is a free-will choice of perspective. It is a negation.

Crucible is the same set of learning experiences and “suffering” taken as a positive perspective.

That is the difference. It is the thinking that makes it so.
[Full disclosure anti-parable: that is a reference to Shakespeare]

~~~

***one liberty-partaking of sarcasm: Imagine fire burning spirit-matter, causing pain**** [If you can, check your imagination. It’s broken and, quite possibly, all grown up and cynical. Fear does that. As does a crippled, stunted sense of humor]

~~~

So, I think I’ve said it all.

For this time at least.

I hope you understand my absence of hate better.

It is only the CRAPPINESS that I’m resisting. It is only the lie and the CRAPPY religion that comes out of that lie that I’m denying.

I’m very lachrymose intolerant.

That is my diuretic.

i.e. to be perfectly clear, it is not you, personally, to whom I direct my tough loving resistance. It is not your religion I disdain.

I most certainly, with all the love and realization of the created universe, encourage, by all means, with all loving heart, your spirituality.

It is just the CRAPPY part (however fundamental your free exercise of free will might make it). That is all.

If you refuse to understand this and if you hold onto previous misconceptions of my destructive anger-filled America-hate and “Christianity”-hate and my assumed love of radical repression I can’t really offer you anything more than a hearty Go Fuck Yourself.

But I was talking about the love we all could share. If we find it, to do our best to hold it there. With our love, with our love, we could save the world . . .