Caine:
Is it good to seek the past, Master Po? Does it not rob the present?
Master Po:
If a man dwells on the past, then he robs the present. But if a man ignores the past, he may rob the future. The seeds of our destiny are nurtured by the roots of our past.

Kung Fu Season 1 Episode 5 “The Tide”

Some seem to cling to past lives all too graspingly.
Some simply remember drives to be what they are not here, but indeed what they were, at some unknown point, in some unknowable way, in some intuitive sense, dabbling in something that is not of this life
Uncertain and unclear, with little or no confidence.

Like a gay man will endeavor to experiment in all serious intent and sense of purpose a heterosexual marriage out of this vague drive of unremembered remembrance of destiny or competence over and above cumulative piled-up stored-up social pressure’s expectations, said and unsaid, seen and unseen, felt keenly, over the years, in insignificant or as once-in-a-while’s significance and palpable increments of piling up.

To arrive, miserably, at the crossroads of this life’s destiny’s call and to arrive, reluctantly, at a reckoning with what is in terms of what was under all terms and conditions of what is to be. A moment of truce.

Play it well or play it badly, we are all moving on.