Thoughts upon seeing and hearing a prominently-placed Texas woman crow about bible study in a public national forum:

Because I know they weren’t “studying” beatitudes. Nor were they studying the mystical parts of the Gospel of John (preferring, those people, the prevalent anti-semitic more enticing parts instead). Nor the meditative, yogic, experiential underpinnings, deep-structured underlying paradigm of the missives of Saint Paul (preferring, those people, the harsh, unyielding, political discourse and doctrine of empire and misogyny that the missives anon became ghost-written instead). Because such diligent performative “study” wounds, indeed intends to wound, the heart and pierces the body in multiple places attempting to alter the soul.

Because I know that nothing of their doctrinal intent can touch the soul – I am joyful where I should be demoralized in their systemic well-rehearsed attempt to break me in order to build me back up, morph my soul, transition my very identity with their bargains and ransoms, “improving” and “saving” me with their lifestyle. They take such parasitical cosmic ecstasy in recruiting to their strength-in-numbers lifestyle.

My soul is spiritual cosmic and eternal. I am awakened to this experience of truth. Hence I am filled with joy instead. I am sorry I am joyful thus to negate their intended meaning. But I’m not sorry. I am truly joyful.