I was musing on the subject of people squandering love as I was walking about on the dew-slicked and fog-slicked pavements of the Spanish Creole architectured [sic] (architextured?) [sic] French Quarter end-using unexpected free time on my hands on an unexpected office holiday which felt and still feels unearned , , ,

 . . . Thinking I was, as I said, musing, timeless, masked and distant in the dregs of the third wave of a global pandemic that no one in the red-state surrounding this blue oasis seems to have taken seriously.  It has seemed dragged on timeless, lending more time to time that seems to hang out of time and tocks onward uninterrupted and unsteady, slick with condensation.  All because not taken seriously, in or out of time.  Help is coming all too late, one day late.

My walking was like my syntax above.  Free from constraint, not caught up in time.  Nothing to get hung about.

I recalled how I (and I assume we) have withheld love from one who hasn’t shown the proper or proportionate love or respect in return.  I (and I assume we) have grown only to resent that I (and I assume we) have been put in such a position of not loving what I so desired (and felt deserved) to love.

Funny how misunderstanding is so fundamental and integral to the human condition.  Not ha ha funny either.  Not ha ha funny at all.

But, then I thought, suddenly, Grinch-like, maybe love means a little bit more.  Maybe love is something that is improper to withhold.  Maybe love, like perception of the universe, is different to each individual that deals with it.

And it is true!  Because love is not something physical at all.  Love is a spiritual thing.  It doesn’t have human form and isn’t held to human conditionality.  It cannot be contained or exchanged or earned or won or lost or gained or lost.  It truly cannot have anything to do with exchange value.  It is not insurance.  It is not a bargain.  It is not a steal.  It is not a good deal.  It is not even a treasure.  It is not a possession.  It is not a prize.  Certainly it is not a trophy nor a mark of achievement of any kind.  It’s hard, I know, not to think of love as something physical.  For one thing it stimulates all of our physical and physically related impulse points and feelings – even the ones we deem the higher ones:  the comfort, the security, the general feeling of well-being, of belonging, of – dare I say it? – being real, in the sense of the Velveteen Rabbit, of course, is how I meant it this time. 

Unreal!  You and me are telling me.  This is absurd.  Of course love is physical and real.  Absolutely everything in this physical universe is all there is.  It is all real.  Don’t let some new-age spiritual (not religious) kook convince you otherwise. 

Except that it isn’t.  Real is spiritual.  Real is eternal.  Real is unseeable, unknowable.  You don’t even have to agree with me or believe me to make it so.  You are entirely free to exist for real in your real physical world in your free country which enjoys all its freedom — (courtesy of past, present, and future military service) — within the real world of the real physical universe.  Be a realist.  Go ahead.  And go ahead and be convinced that the physical delight of love is a manifestation of reality of love.  It’s somehow sacred too in its marital form, as opposed to the very dirty, very selfish, very anti-God version it might otherwise be “expressed” in out of marital (or out of heterosexual, God forbid!) state.

And it’s kind of tempting to agree when real experience is all we seem to know.  It’s very tempting to the point of manifest total inability to resist thinking, seeing, knowing and believing that the physical world is all there is, finite and limited and won or lost, comically  or tragically, depending upon one’s tendency to disposition or upon one’s circumstantial occasion of experience.  It is all limited by time, all one-shot, all death-ended and terminal.  All we can do is fear the consequences and/or position ourselves to be saved (not, technically, by our “works” or by our doing at all, to be sure).

But what if it’s not?  I say it’s not.  And it doesn’t matter what you or I say.  It is what it is and it’s not what it’s not.  All is eternal energy of creation in ever now motion.  We can all wait for you and your appointed and/or anointed descendants to prove it wrong. Knock yourself out.

So love, I am sure, is a spiritual phenomena belonging to the real eternity and it is as a purpose of creation.  It is manifest in the Kingdom of Heaven which is now and which no one can disprove nor prove and which is regardless of any organized or individualized belief system or thought control.

As pleasing as it is to rub off another’s physical body according to sexual preference and susceptibility to seduction and beauty and power-tripping and all manner of physiological psychological warp, wax, twist, and wane, love is not physical.  It is not necessarily physically expressed, no matter how convinced we are to justify the ways of God to man, woman, person, camera, tv.  It is not a thing that can really be withheld or squandered.  We have no business holding memories or grudges or frustrations, resentments, or even pleasing masturbatory recollections of any way, shape, or form of  À la recherche du temps perdu.

So forget all of that musing in the fog.  What I do is to love unconditionally and to be more and more of a loving being moment by moment and making the most of everything by sharing love in the non-physical form that it truly is.  It does help make it so much easier that I have also grown very old and have been sufficiently physically satisfied in my day to the point where I don’t feel any need or urge to rub myself off on another’s physical body for fleeting pleasure which I then attempt to treasure by means fair and foul.

Meditation and spiritual development have helped in this or have rendered me obsolete and unphysically loving, perhaps.  Convince me otherwise, then . . .

The Holy Nām, The Light of Creation, Eternity . . .

I don’t want to test it or prove it or tease it out

I just want to appreciate it and to live it out in continual moments of now

I never thought that I’d turn out to be as happy as I’m seeing that I am.

And it is not what you’d think: I’m not happy with being successful, or with having achieved such and such, having attained such and such, having won acclaim or love or anything else from any one else.

No, it is a deeper, quieter happiness, akin to my earliest memories.

In my earliest memories I was a spiritual being. I was as is. I glowed with being and I remember indigo light.

I am.

Very . . .

. . . happy to be so into being!

When you look within and see

A space as vast as that without

A beyond imagination expanse of universe

And galaxies uncountable points of light a’swirl

In endless timeless movement, mysterious as the night sky above

You sit in the sound current of peace and experience ever now

Within is without and all is shared and the harmonies of peace are one

If what you are devoted to is not of or in true spirit being your devotion is misplaced.  If your devotion is in any way split between the seen and the unseen, compromised in any way, contingent at all, or by any ways or means clinging to the physical, it’s errant.  If your devotion is of, about, and/or in the physical world, i.e. if it is an “object,” it is an idol.  False too.  Plain and simple.  It is no matter of any significance how much prestige your object of devotion affords you.  The value to you of your object of devotion is of no consequence or worth.  It matters not how esteemed your object of devotion might make you feel.  Nor how rich and powerful.  In the true eternal time-obliterate scale of the spiritual Realm of Wisdom it is temporal, fleeting.  Misplaced as well. 

Keep your devotion square in the center of serene eternity.  That is real treasure laid in worth.  Unseen as it might be for the literal moment, no matter how long such a literal moment seems to drag into approaching infinity, it is not eternal. Keep your devotion where it is kept forever! Keep the course! Keep in good spirits! Play for keeps! In worth, it is truly worth; truly eternal.

[This brief information came out of a BLM discussion elsewhere, under another identity, hence pertaining in a localized way strictly to the United States of America.  It has been upgraded and expanded to universally applicable axiom for this forum]

You may, “Christian”, earnestly make a diurnal expression of the religious affirmation that you are no better than anyone is.  You may believe it and/or practice it.  You may go the more radical dogmatic extra mile and believe that you are a depraved craven piece of shit but for the arbitrary ‘Grace of God’.

If, however, you – in your “Christian” heart of hearts – consider any other culture (with or without the skin-color marker) to be depraved, craven, and lacking God’s grace (for not believing this too or for believing in another religion — or some reasonable or unreasonable facsimile thereof) then you are nothing more than a severely errant depraved, craven piece of shit, abusing the grace even as you presume to appropriate it, in a most deliberate and selfish way.

P.S. That was written with a density that is deliberate. Especially pertaining to that impossibly lengthy last ¶/sentence. My apologies.

For real is there. Always listen for real. Then talk.

the secret to it is not needing it in the least

The invisibly institutionalized and conservatively established and painstakingly maintained racism of plausible denial isn’t concerned with facts so much as with justifications. [Existing often in their own special realm in effective masquerade as ‘alternative’ ‘fact’].

For this reason it is not subject to significant weakening or undermining due to its own contradictions or inconsistencies. It may appear unassailable. [And distorted, outsize in importance, and not so close: like objects which appear in post-modern rear-view side mirrors].

It is a fine example of a self-fulfilling prophecy set firmly and securely within a closed-loop feedback system. [Especially since the days when it established its own radio and television “news” networks and programs to surreptitiously broadcast its message of propaganda within an unassailable program of patriotic raison d’être].

Over-thinking is really literally under-thinking in the grand scheme of the universal Creation of things and the destiny of the Realm of Wisdom.

This will make little or no sense to the general common sense crowd and that is more than fine with me.

The sort of perspective-blind overthinking I’m talking about is the overconfident reliance too much on the intellect and use of the personality to be erudite and smart. This generally accepted version of being smart is an awful habit. But It is a very socially sanctioned habit. Such personality-driven intellect overthinking is pleasantly habit-forming, bolstered as it is by the personal acclaim and worldly status rewards and perks, and out-size remuneration sometimes attached to it.

But this sort of thinking is harmful, disturbing to quiet serenity [meditation], and destructive to the Realm of Wisdom. This is especially, nae, exponentially so when it is fortified by institutionalization, i.e. religion, human governance, polity and the like.

Do I confuse you and lose you? Well then I confuse you and lose you.

But this lack of Kingdom of Heaven [i.e Realm of Wisdom] perspective has got to go out with the trash. Over-thinking must stop to make corrections of this errant under-thinking and to make way for Creation’s True Destiny!