Remembrance of Things Past

Looking for God

Circled the wobble desperate

Bearings lost unmoored

Listened to advice

Felt nothing but fear

Disabled in panic

  • I’m sorry
  • I panicked
  • And forgot

Wasted my gift of time

Looking

For something that is there

Past points where I clamor to stop sharp

In unrest to avoid the stupid things

That have happened – whims that sour and cause

Pain and suffering

Troublesome remorse

Replay rewind recur

  • I’m sorry
  • I panicked
  • And forgot

Somehow I forgot that sorrow never suits

That the moments to erase twin with achievement

Pride never suits nor remorse

All have made me

What I am now

I pause indefinite centered, still, to remember

Christ and the living kingdom

Timeless now

In me and with me without me all about

A Song of Experience in Four Short Chapters

In my semi-awakened moments in this still night morning — when I was almost woke! — I did as usual and I heartily invited Divine Mother to supercede [sic] over me and transform me into the energy of the cosmos. This is usual and customary when I experience those moments. I find it works well for me.  I’m not asking or telling that you do it.

In any case what thoughts I experienced were of receding into the sub-atomic being of energy, where I have waived my particles, where my state and/or whereabouts are not both known, and even then only one of them upon observation, where my curiosity and joyous amusement are more Schrödinger’s cat and less the Cheshire cat. Where is not where!

It occurred that in this sub-atomic energy level all things are made alike of the same sub-atomic particles quantum waived and all things are connected in this energy force and that the soul does not love it is love itself and it does not exist it is existence itself and it does not know it is knowledge itself.  Of course we are all one in and as this energy force and best thing of all:  we all forgive ourselves!

Chapter Two

When I walked my doggies this morning my mind was well stimulated and frisky.  I chanted a few Rādhā Soāmī things just for the heck of it.  The calming effect was quite welcomed. I was thinking teetering between wave and particle.  I was thinking about us all and about the ones who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion and about what we can bind and what we can waive when, delving into the past a nostalgic bit I started singing this song crossing Dodge Street:  ‘woulda done different, woulda done different, can’t go back, can’t go back’.  This was amusing and gave me positive feedback pause though, of course, it related to an outcome I’d much rather have changed to save someone some undue hurt and or to save myself some probably due anguish and remorse.  This is a song I used to dwell on though I never knew the words.  I didn’t need to.  And, of course, the difference came right to me:  it used to be a major depressant back then to go there and to dwell there like my tendencies to do.  Now it’s like reading a story. Now I know that I know better yet still in the utmost of knowing and even knowing that I know better and knowing that I know and knowing the words the human me still always manages to do things that should of [sic] could have been done better and differently with more tact and more compassion and more consideration even more awareness.  There is no level of awareness or awakedness [sic] or, dare I say? woke [ibid] [sic] that prevents, precludes or circumvents the human experience in all its glory and deficiency.  But boy does depression hurt.  I’m so glad that isn’t a thing of the currents of visitation any more.

This being a Saturday morning, Wanda instinctively knows to demand the longer more leisurely walk.  Now, on Newman I was approaching the preferred Wanda turn around an even extra block on East Falk.  I was thinking about Falk Street and about what separates them. A dual duo duality of front yards, double back yards, for sure.  And you can’t get through to the other without taking three more streets (or two more streets and a highway).  This, of course, is like the days of our lives are, sometimes.

Chapter Three

My mind went on to ruminate on the other Lazarus and the special mission that the rich man asked that this lowly sore-ridden Lazarus to take on behalf of the rich man’s friends.  In the telling of the story, the rich man indeed got his wish.  Everybody was warned. That is everybody who consumes the literature is warned.  The friends are intercoursed over for ever and ever as is the rich man. When you think this over, doesn’t it seem a cruel use of literature to use a story to give such a dire warning in the kernel of the story itself?  Maybe not.  Maybe it’s just me.  But from another angle, think about the request.  The rich man wanted to warn and hence “save” his friends.  But the friends and the rich man are out of luck out of grace out of saving, living (if it can be called ‘living’) in an eternity of pain and suffering.  This is all due to the duality of the ‘reality’ of the timeline. We, the target readers, are receiving the ridiculously requested warning in steed of the friends of the rich man.  We aren’t friends of the rich man, as much as we have been well socially conditioned to act as if we are. But that’s a big tangent. Why do we place everything and stake everything on the threat of eternal punishment? I completely disagree with this premise. But our culture has bought it hooker, line and sinker. One life with eternal judgment is the one and true “Big Lie”. There’s nothing I can say, argue, persuade, allude to or otherwise demonstrate that will dissuade the mortally frightened of the eternal pain and suffering away from this dire and macabre dependence on debilitating fear.  But that’s not up to me.  Thousands of lifetimes will weather that hard rock head of yours to silica sure and finely enough. And the kingdom of heaven is at hand! In the light of this any ‘opinion’ of mine is as nothing.


Chapter Four

And I’d for sure be a huge gargantuan hypocrite if what I say is taken as a strike against the Christ spirit or against the splendid human woke man Jesus.  For I am all with them.  I regularly infuse golden Christ energy and breathe it out here on earth.  My second-physical aura is continually saturated with golden Christ energy.  I am only against the organized insult to intelligence and integrity that is popularly accepted doctrine. And I am dead set against that!

Generalities

Thinking in generalities about unspecified some ones special:  there was a time when I could have helped you.  Now, I can’t even stretch your mind to stimulate your imagination to the degree where you could go and help yourself in any meaningful way due to all the reflexive, defensive, hateful, fearful, oppositive reactions against, groomed and stoked by the generally assumed [to be lacking] and understood qualities of the ‘woke’.

I’m sorry but I’m not sorry.  One day you’ll figure out for yourself how pulling bootstraps really works.  And it’s all on the journey to the Kingdom of Heaven and we’ll blend well there.

Treatise on Praying and Wishing

Don’t wish and more importantly don’t PRAY for anything specific for anyone, whether it be for ill or for good. The plain and simple fact is that life happens to everyone equally. All the bad, all the good, all the pain and suffering, all the pleasure and gratification happens to all as it comes to happen, as it is destined. A person can control so much with an attitude. A regular practice of gratitude can take away 90+ % of the pain and suffering in any one life. And anyone with a modicum of Buddhist awareness (no matter what it is dressed up in [or cosplays as]!) will know for sure that some things that appear bad have underlying fundamental elements of good and even blessing and some things that appear to be nothing but good wish fulfillment have underlying fundamental elements of a curse. So, all these specifics that we wish or PRAY for, then, are moot and can be more altered with a developed attitude of gratitude than with any amount of people gathered together in anyone’s dropped name, pleading and bargaining for specific outcomes. Be careful of the outcome you choose. Accept all that comes to you knowing it’s a blessing and that there is a beneficial necessary lesson coming out of it. Have a positive attitude and drop the wishful magical thinking and you will be awoke. At least that’s that I say and that’s what I strive for in a positive grateful way! If if helps, it helps. If it angers you and you call me woke, that is also helping in some indeterminable way too.

An Actual Discussion in Theologics Which Took Place Today

The next post I intend to post will attempt, once again, to explain a basic concept I have attempted to get across many a time. This time, once again, in a different way, in the hopes that are eternal.

It is not a new idea. It has been expressed by many a zen practitioner, by many a Buddhist, by many a Sikh, by many a Hindu. But it is devilishly hard to get across. I have been trying for many years and will not give up for many more. [And then I’ll probably come back and try again, like I have in many incarnations before. You might remember me from back in one or more of them.]

The real reason I didn’t just go out and post it is that I was trying to incorporate some sort of explanation into it. I couldn’t find a way so I am just going to give the explanation of sorts, right now, up front.

The real concept is that basically the world in which we live in is a product of the dreams, hopes, wishes, desires, and wants of all of us. It is us who have created this world! We waste time complaining, calling it a mess like we do, pinning it off externally, and going out to seek a cosmic explanation or, worse, to develop a faith which explains it, which scapegoats it.

We make much of the concept that we are created in the image of God. It is a jumping off point to much. Much that is not right, of course. It is fitting, I am sure, that we get it so wrong, as to the import and the meaning of it all. It is no surprise that the civilization that deliberately made Jesus look a model of Europeanness would get the imaging imago so wrong.

What I’m saying that the expression ‘made in the image’ does not mean that we literally look like God. That is a stupid and silly and wrongfully wrong idea. It means something more along the lines of we are endowed, like the Creator, with some degree of ability to create. In that way are we a spitting image. We have created the world in which we live in, in other words. It’s not just all about ‘original’ art. (Our special endowed ability to create, I mean).

You can disagree all you want. You can insist that ‘in the image’ means literally in the image, emphasis on the image, meaning the looks. That, like I said, would be fitting for a culture that made the European image of Jesus, not so much to worship Jesus better so much as to aggrandize an ideal. And sure, the concept of aggrandizing an ideal in such a superior way sounds noble, but it means much darker than it might. Just think about it. Be woke, look upon the evidence ye mighty, and think!

So that’s what I’m saying. I may post the post. I may not. At this juncture of a state, without talking to myself, I’ve pretty much talked myself out of it.

I might just leave it at this and reconstitute to apply my creative art again another day another way. We, all of us, have still created this world. It is exactly as we all wanted and desired. Fail to believe it or me at your own peril. This world does not take kindly to such error, and it has been created that way. A lot of complications have been created to make it hard and to punish the transgressor. You know you like it that way. Especially when you’ve joined the strength-in-numbers group that absolves you from being the transgressor in so many creative and selfish ways. Let me count the ways! (Bargains and ransoms and deals, Oh my!) All you can do is throw shadows at me anyway. And you’re always a woman to me in any case, anyway. {You who knows of whom I talk).

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Lee Ann McNally

In the Book of Genesis, the Creator says, “Let us make man (and woman) in Our image”…. that “image” is Love. Each of us is created BY LOVE, IN LOVE, and FOR LOVE

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R.O. Sam

That’s great information and I appreciate your supplying it. I don’t remember that discussion at all from my previous exposure to and study of Genesis, in particular. But, YES!

*Note: I just revisited Genesis and find the very first mention of the literal word “love” directly in Genesis is the story of the “sacrifice” required of Abraham. So there’s that.

Regardless, what I was going to say before I got distracted with that research task was that I very much respond to this concept of everything absolutely being about love!

My devotion and commitment, and my favorite thing of all, is when Jesus was asked about laws, and said (I paraphrase) that we wouldn’t need all these laws if we only had love in our heart. That, coupled with Jesus telling us all to receive the Kingdom like a child! To me, that’s pretty much all I need. The other stuff is all cultural. All about conformity. Conformity and peer pressure and guilt, BAH humbug! So I say. And I know conformity pressure. I know conformity pressure like Langston Hughes knows rivers.

So, yes, my devotion is to love, just as you described it.

But the cultural stuff and baggage. I yawp a barbaric yawp to that. Sorry. I just can’t handle and repel against all the ‘Good Book’ misogyny. Maybe even starting with the rib. Also I don’t like the juvenile stuff that the tines [‘teens’ in pronunciation] (August and Constan) did and the anxiety and the complexities and the bad faith treatment of fellow humans that ensued. We are led to think of it as the manifestation of some kind of superior culture, but I find that idea pure poppycock. But that’s just me, I’m sure.

When I studied the Bible in its entirety with the Episcopalian Priest and renowned Greek scholar Minka Shura, God rest her soul, I had an epiphany near the end of the four-year course. It started with Genesis. Everybody is well-versed with the story of the loss of Eden. Everybody is very much acculturated to “know” about the Tree of Knowledge and the kinds of problems it caused, in tune with and in service of misogyny. Those are the kinds of “creations” us “creators” of the world commonly complain about, as I was alluding to and referring to in the original post above. But I remembered distinctly the other, more important tree: the tree of life.

The epiphany and the light-bulb moment occurred after these nigh four years of study with Minka, a tuition in which she consistently stressed the love and compassion and inclusiveness and accepting and forgiving nature of Jesus and the eternal transforming nature of Christ. I had always had my own problems with the generally accepted doctrine – which should come as a surprise to absolutely no one! So, it can be said, I suppose, that she was literally preaching to the choir in this case. In any case the insight of epiphany I had was that the true purpose of Jesus was to restore to us the tree of life. None of the other stuff!

That’s my little contribution to this thought exercise. The concept is more than enough to me and fits in snugly with my entirety of my theological creed: we don’t need laws and restrictions when we have love in our hearts and I accept it all like a child. And Jesus’ real purpose has been done in restoring the tree of life. We need nothing more: Christ is love itself. Christ is eternal!

I’ll close by quoting George Harrison quoting Prabhavananda:

The soul does not love, it is love itself

It does not exist, it is existence itself

It does not know, it is knowledge itself

How to Know God page 130

Well, that is all that I will say here. It is way more than I intended to share but I’m glad to share of myself in as generous a way that I can. It’s out of love.

White Jesus

That our (assumed superior) civilization makes much of but misses the import and meaning of the concept that we are all created in the image of the Creator is not surprising.

For we are the culture that deliberated created a European Jesus, not so much to worship Jesus as to aggrandize an ideal. Moreover, while such an ideal might sound noble, in reality it means much more darkly than it might.

That is all.