It’s one thing when you want a bully simply to stop. The hurt would stop then too. But there is a hurt that hurts much deeper. And it is when you get into the game of trying to figure out just what a bully might be thinking, to speculate just what a bully might think if this or that happens, to speculate just what a bully might think if you say this or if you say that; and you try like all hell based on all this speculation to figure out ways and means to change the bully’s way of thinking so that it will or could in theory stop. That is where the insanity and craziness of deeper hurt and self-hurt thrive like algae in hot weather conditions in stagnant water over a dark-hued shallow bottom.

There grows deep inside a cancer of insecurity and doubt that can arise from consistently being misunderstood, misapprehended, mislabeled. The guessing-game chess-match of trying to outplay the consequences and the very incurrence of the misunderstanding leads to a deep core of hurt exponentially over and above the simple hurt the bully clumsily intends to deliver. It grows into somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. To quote John Lennon from ‘Working Class Hero’: “’till you’re so fucking crazy you can’t follow their rules.” Cancer eats away.

Until it stops. ‘cause it’s all in the head. Reversible. It is a karmic curse of strenuously difficult proportions trying to outplay the possibilities inherent in being misunderstood, constantly thinking what they all must be thinking, especially in an environment where it’s so common as to be common sense, this thinking the sanctioned uniformity of conformity, this inherently condemning (even with kindness) all else. But it’s all in the head. And a wise head can stop it.

That is the true value of praying for wisdom! ‘Tis a sweet freedom of vast richness indeed when this freedom one day comes. The futile what-if chase is a valuable life lesson that can pay dividends far beyond this one lifetime. Karma of the future lifetimes can and will indeed be dissolved. This you must simply take at my saying. Unless you figure out a way to experience it for yourself and to prove it to yourself. You may misunderstand me. My permission has been haughtily granted!

~~~~~

All this said, it still stuns and shocks me, these times when it becomes clear that I live in a different reality from so many others.

But it’s not and it will never be like any bullying about situation of the past ever again. For I have learned how to not delve into speculation of how, why and or what thought process might be involved, only to futilely play out the craziness game of trying to anticipate it, avoid it, alter it.

It just is. There are two countries.

People live in a different reality backed and bolstered by who-know-what sanctioned source of knowledge.

They must be trappists of a special sort of obverse they way they trap the “other” into being so lazily misinformed. It is al-chemical special the way they mislabel the “media” into some conspiracy to misinform. In non-defense of the media, the media is certainly guilty of consistent trivialization and addicted to sensationalism. But that reality has been reality for the longest time now. The trappist [sic] exhibit is stock full of anecdotal incidents to project into trends and facts and common-sense realities. The common element is the fear.

Living is easy with eyes closed in nice clothes. Projecting closed-eyedness [sic] onto the “other” while denigrating their easy-living to the point where it is not at all easy for the “other” to live.

To me it only hurts superficially. It is all gnats to wave away. It can only hurt more if you let it.

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